James Mouser:  

CLASS OF 2001
Lawton, OK
Lawton, OK
Lawton, OK

James's Story

Life Born to a manic depressive and a raging alcoholic, James Mouser was raised on the mean streets of southwest Lawton. He was eventually seduced by the allure of the big city and its dark underbelly, so a boy with a dream and a gift headed to Havana to roll cigars and break dance for Fidel Castro himself while moonlighting as a college professor, a position more evil than the capitalist system. He had a brief but torrid relationship with the daughter of a Cuban narcotics dealer, who decided to blackmail him due to a lack of respect for his profession, which she regarded as degrading and immoral. He was on the run, lonely and trembling with fear until he reached the shores of Key West via a small raft constructed from empty tequila bottles. He attempted to reunite with "the posse" in southwest Oklahoma, but he was deemed a "sell out" and ignominously driven out of town. He procured a small apa...Expand for more
rtment in Norman during a brief stint as a mathematics professor at the University of Oklahoma, where he met a tall, angelic dark-haired beauty with a heart of gold, or so he thought. After six seemingly love-filled months of wedded bliss, she left town with a new beau and all of James's possessions: the gold and orange Gremlin('73), his collection of Alf memorabilia, and all of his food (yes, even the ham 'n cheese Hot Pockets!). Shamefaced, he fled from society into the comforting seclusion of the northern Montana woods, where he spent five years trying to write the great American novel, but to no avail: he was a loser in every context of the word. It's rumored that he can be found behind the dumpster of the Christie's Toy Box in Norman wearing a poncho and muttering the lyrics to Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" while recollecting lost love and recovering the lost pieces of his shattered youth.
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