James Norris:  

I don't have much of a story..here's the Readers Digest version... skipped my junior year in high school --some of you may remember that I was a Sophomore one year, a Senior the next--in hindsight, a mistake.... was still 16 (yes-16) when I started Cameron University. Majored in Criminal Justice with a minor in student-union (emphasis on billiards) got married & discovered the meaning of true love--too late now--she won't let me out of the house to find it--DAMN!! dropped out of college to work 80 hours a week (insert--"begin 20 years of repressed memories" here) job transferred to OKC quit job got better job statistical success of justifiable homicide as a defense surprisingly low in this country--sank into deep depression began program of self-medication for depression. beer sales soar. Divorced! Received overwhelming calls of rejoicing & support from friends & family members. My kids asked me "why did you wait so long?" People started wanting to hang out at my place. Divorce attorney transfers her children to an elite private school (insert "20 years of repressed memories ends" here) started new life as 40 year old divorcee--learned that 40 is the new 20 learned that the answers to some of life's questions can be found at the bottom of that next bottle...not all, but some... discovered that a disproportionately large segment of the female population are attracted to salt & pepper hair. made mental notes of this. learned that ingesting large quantities of fermented beverages can cause delusions of adequacy & frequently induces the urge to dance, sing karaoke, quote historical philosophers, & perform inappropriate mating rit...Expand for more