Jessica Marnik:  

My s/n is jessjerk, I'm all over the net. Want to talk? Look me up. I have 2 kids, and I don't want them to grow up like I did. They are too innocent to suffer that fate. I have been sober for 10 years now... since January 17, 1998. It nearly killed me, literally... but I finally learned that you can't drown the demons and can't smoke/drug/drink/etc the pain or memories away... they always come back to haunt you... even when your choices leave you at death's door. I just have to get the past to quit haunting me... OK, so one specific part of my past. OK, 2 years ... OK, 1 specific person in my past....who shall rename nameless for reasons I care not to discuss. The pic was taken the night we laid my Bro Mike to rest. We had a big going away party for him here at the house. Mike was one of a kind, and we miss him dearly. He was killed by a hit and run driver October 3, 2004... The second pic is a pic of Mike.(The one in black) He was good people. I was recently struck with the news of my good friend Jeff Begley's (C/O 96) death back in late '97. I guess that comes with disappearing from everyone.. no one seemed to know where to find me to let me know. Jeff was one of those rare friends that walked into my life and made a difference. He was the first person in a long time to show me that you could rely on people to help you out when you needed it. He also showed me that it was OK to feel, and express those feelings instead of keeping them bottled up inside. He saw ME and not the face I put on to hide myself. He saw a potential in me that I never saw myself. And considering all the time I spent trying to hide myself from the real world with one destructive behavior or another... that means a lot to a person like me. If you thought you knew me from a distance, you never knew me at all.. If thought you knew me well, you probably did not know half of what you thought you did... and if you hated me back in the day... well so what? High School was a million days and a thousand heartbreaks ago. The perceptions you had of me were clouded by things you will (I hope) never need to understand, nor could even begin to comprehend.. The behaviors I had and addictions I used... they were simply to chase away the demons and the hell of my...Expand for more