Jim Armstrong (Douglas):
CLASS OF 1965
Blakelock High SchoolClass of 1965
Oakville, ON
Burnett Avenue Public SchoolClass of 1960
North york, ON
Spring Garden SchoolClass of 1960
North york, ON
E. A. Orr Public SchoolClass of 1960
Oakville, ON
Richvale Public SchoolClass of 1960
Richmond hill, ON
Jim's Story
OK, there's nothing original here.... (lots of Trivia, less Ego)
................but it's not over yet.
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9 years of a childless marriage. I've not advanced my material wealth over
the last 45 easy years. Same for my higher education. Spent most of life avoiding responsibility. Enjoy waking up, and like the rest of us, still have plans to leave this world a better place than I found it. Miss those early years---late '40s, early '50s---of Family Life on the Farm.
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BELOW are ANSWERS to that "STORY WIZARD" QUIZ:
Heroes? Was Tarzan---no good and evil involved---(didn't know that then.)
Just me, and "...eternal, magnificent Nature", quoting Richard Strauss. Now
it's Ancient Greece---the Land of Heroes. Have lived most of my simple years
in Toronto since leaving school. No teacher's influence left me wanting more,
& none I hated. Who'd I most want to see from my youth? Likely the ones not interested in seeing me. Winning $100 million? Why, I'd buy that farm in Vermont. And restore the 1937 "Topper" movie car. Not sure of what I'd give any away to.
(The "Newborn Rights Society" would top my list, as would Womens' Groups 'n Shelters.)
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At 12, no thoughts what people my current age would be doing. Simply awed and intimidated by the all-controlling adult world. "Best friends" would likely tell
you I'm opinionated, maybe bit of a Pollyanna, and......a good listener.
Those who don't know me well might say quiet, dull, anonymous, and possibly shy or aloof.
Sports? Yah, Baseball---but I don't care who wins or loses. And Men's Olympic diving. Pets?---what you'd find on a local farm. With a couple of burrows-(the gentlest of animals), goats, llamas, alpacas, pigs, geese. And I'd befriend 'em all---only eating the Chickens. (As a kid, I wanted an alligator farm, one of my
few interests Mom ever showed any disapproval of).
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OBSESSIONS?---Not everything's shared........Yet "Hellenism" pretty much
says it all.
ALSO: "Imperial Germany"---(1871-1919), Germanic Kultur and Music,
Nietzsche, Perfect Beauty, Romantic-Platonic friendships, money/security, "History", day dreaming, anger management, the Mediterranean, technology, self-esteem, rural life/hillbillies, the Equal Rights Amendment, ships, trains, planes, cars, appearing normal, the fate of the Naked Ape, Futurism---(the most recurring state for me?), Neanderthals, simplicity, biking, Self-Love, Forests, seeking approval, good health, Hollywood, Astronomy, "Religions", much hero worship, the British Crown Jewels, glamour, the human form---(and sexual fantasies, of course), Manhattan, solitude, Power, keeping up appearances, sabretooth tigers, Europe, domesticity, people watching---(maybe #1), dinosaurs, good company, Ruritania, luxury, 1930s U.S. culture, repose, Science, graphic Arts & Images, humour, Photography, global cultures, Architecture, 20th Century U.S. pop-culture, comfort, Paris in the 1920s, "Blasphemies", self-preservation, that Inner Voice, Hallucinogens, Smelling
the Roses......making sense of it All---(surely my #1 spot, and I suspect,
the same for all of us.)
(MUST ADD: not all in that order, and not in equal measure. Selfishness and Forgetting rule my waking hours. I'm not the good humanitarian I'd like to be---another armchair philosopher, "without the courage of his convictions"---example: I've lost all sympathy with violent offenders.
Ideas are cheap. Right?)
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Anything I "know", I've mostly learned from others....with only a smattering of insight and intuition. Biggest surprise?---not yet rich and famous. And have
so far failed to place a PERMANENT BAN ON MALE CIRCUMCISION---
(A Disfigurement and a Disgrace !!!). To be truly happy?---I'd be on a farm in Vermont, with super-Latino identical twin sisters as wives, and 8 kids---they'd be cousins as well as half-brothers! First crush?---MOM. (What boy didn't?)
Followed by numerous grade teachers, neighborhood girls and guys.
(But regrettably never had any sort of "encounters", with any of 'em.)
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Still dress casual, and only need an excuse to upgrade. Weirdest job?---
my life has been so un-weird. Really.
Share my home with 4 others---a necessity. It ain't bad.
And continues to be a learning thing.
No trophies, no mantel. DO-OVERS?---
to have listened to others more perceptively, and shown more courage in decision...Expand for more
making. To have struck up more friendships, and not to have burned
all those bridges behind me. To have at least appeared less the wimp---
(is there anything wrong with wimps?). To have tasted more Forbidden Fruit. And definitely to have been more "honest"---in the broadest sense. I failed to trust, myself, and others....
Biggest regrets? No children to worship and adore. No real answers to our corrupt Political systems, our appalling Education standards, the exploitative Medical profession, and that oldest & most insidious of deceptions---organized Religion---(forever preying on our vulnerabilities.) That I've done nothing to better Mankind's miserable lot here on Earth. That I've accomplished not one worthwhile thing. And that I'll go to my grave, another wasted life.
(Is keeping out of trouble actually considered an accomplishment?).
In 10 years? Intend to be healthy and active. I'm going to get there
by staying that way now....
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Do have "old friends", but not the precious, dear kind. Nothing I can
recall would surprise anyone at any school reunion. Nothing of a "super-natural" nature. (No visions, no voices. Not even a UFO!) With my wealth of ignorance, I don't need superstition. But I'm not without prejudice.........
other's personalities can be insurmountable obstacles for me. Despite Mom
saying to me "forgive & forget", I tend to hold a grudge.
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First job? Paper boy---delivering Globe & Mail 1955-1960. Hated those early mornings, nearly as much as the compulsory church attendance that darkened and depressed every Sunday. (Actually, church was way far uglier, being the so-called Truth of Reason). But, the paper route did provide extra spending money for movies, mags, model kits, and Dairy Queen. (Couldn't 've seen all those matinees without it). And the comics of the 1950s. A fine time to
"grow up"............for a white boy.
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Came from a good foster home, with bright, secular, progressive parents whom
I could always trust......a genuine "old-fashioned" modern family. No violence,
no incest, no divorce, no accidents, no traumas---(but have to add, they
were too strict). And they let me be me---other than that church thing,
an imposed religion. But the shadow of gratitude drove me out, at 18.
One brother, two sisters, all nice people. Sadly, I've lost touch with
everyone---another result of my habitual self-indulgence.
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I "relax" by loosening up, no special method. (Talking to myself?).
Did nothing wild in school, or out. If I'm going to work anywhere, I need
relative quiet, & conditioned air is a nice touch. With others or alone. Working with good-looking people sparks my involvement. And appropriate music.
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A childhood memory I can't forget? Maybe Childhood itself......Narcissism.
Way too many to list---almost an unbroken chain. (But I'm repeatedly
astonished at how much I've forgotten.) No, nothing really, till years later,
when I started dropping Acid and listening to Wagner/swimming in the Void between the Atoms/Beethoven. (That warped me---words like Solipsism,
Hubris, and even Nemesis, come to mind.) HELLENISM emerged from those trips, and will likely remain the Summit of my life-span. Would do it again, if it came my way. (By the way, with Hellenism I mean "Germanic Hellenism", altogether more profound, provocative, dense, eloquent, terrifying, rewarding).
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How do I hope old friends remember me? .......without regret.
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Satisfied I've answered most of the quiz questions in a direct manner.
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Life's been been sweet with me, so long as I can avoid staring at the misery
of others less fortunate. But here we are, flesh-eating animals---in an "Eat-or-be-Eaten" Universe---(even our loving Mothers!). And Death can't be appeased. What's one to think of all this horror and beauty? It's just sooo Weird..........
Oh, well.....
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"The World is Full Of Wonders, And Nothing's More Wonderful Than Man." -Sophocles.
Plato says Everything is filled with gods, & Time's the Moving Image of Eternity.
So the immortal Greeks tell us...........but the bewilderment remains.
(Nietzsche says our goal is to exceed the Greeks............some destiny!!)
(But I forget all this. Every waking day. And have to find it again.)
Is it Fate, luck, self-will?......
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