Mark Hartmann:  

I've been trying to get back to 1984 for the past 24 years. My time machine is broken and I don't have the parts that I need to get it fixed. As it turns out, the parts I need to get it fixed haven't yet been invented. I am trying to gain access to the fountain of youth, once I do, I will let all of you know. I will have a party and you'll all be invited. I will invite those of you kind enough to sign my guest book, please don't be shy. .... So I've been stuck in the 21st century. I went to the University of Wisconsin River Falls for 2 years majoring in Undecided and Mens Swimming. I finally realized that Undecided wasn't actually a major. I also found out that I had rotary cuff problems, which pretty much took care of the Swimming career. In 1986, I transfered to UW Stevens Point and Majored in Music Performance ..... I got married and yadda yadda yadda..... I've been divorced for over 10 years. I'm...Expand for more