Mike Hoffman:
CLASS OF 1982
Lincoln High SchoolClass of 1982
Stockton, CA
University of the PacificClass of 1989
Stockton, CA
DeVry UniversityClass of 1985
Phoenix, AZ
Mike's Story
Don't hesitate to friend me if you knew me or wanted to know me better. I have been strengthening friendships that should've been stronger in high school except I was too timid, aloof, and pessimistic.
facebook dot com slash mikeshoffman
mikeshoffman at gmail dot com
(206) 931-7298 cell
I need people to recount things I did, or interactions. I have some amnesia, perhaps because I was somewhat introverted and not highly sociable or outgoing. I'm trying to put the puzzle pieces of memory back together.
To this day I still have not read all the signings in my 3 yearbooks, and have felt anguish upon discovering love letters, phone numbers, and invitations to visit and call, while I always assumed that girls were out of reach. So I am going to transcribe all the signings into a text file.
When I recently emailed with a sweet classmate I had a crush on, recounting my biography to her, I finally was able to mourn Philip Berolzheimer, who was like a step-brother. I wonder how the loss of him midway through high school affected my social life; I think I felt rudderless, drifting, and alone after that. As the girls wrote in my yearbooks, I'm writing to them now: I love you very much.
Though I didn't go to the games, parties, clubs, or dances, I extremely enjoyed and appreciated Lincoln High and the great people there, and the campus and mod system. It was the best era at the best high school. I also spent time at Delta College from 5th through 12th grade.
I was fortunate to continue at UOP in Stockton for many years -- also a great experience on a great campus -- (Electrical Engineering) and then I continued working on my theory of religious experiencing at Stanford (Palo Alto) and U.C. Santa Cruz -- summarized at egodeath dot com.
I also systematized electric guitar equipment (at amptone dot com) during that period. While focusing on intellectual work and minimizing socializing, my social skills declined below even the level they were in high school, and I've started scrambling to catch up, including catching up with people that I lost touch with, or never developed as strong of a relationship with as I should've.
I'm currently in Seattle, taking courses in Embedded Programming and Real-time Programming at Uni...Expand for more
versity of Washington (UW).
I'm particularly searching for Celeste Jolly, who should've been my girlfriend and wanted to be but I was too insecure and socially detached to realize or believe it. Being around so many pretty, sweet girls, watching and wanting so many of them, made it hard to focus and recognize it when there was reciprocal interest, especially for an introvert with lagging, limited social skills.
I suppose that had I been socially well-adjusted, outgoing, and confident, I would've married Celeste and had girlfriends and would not have been motivated to create an innovative theory of religious experiencing. I have the latter but I still regret not having had the former. At least I can somewhat make up for my failed love life by catching up now; for example, I recommend: succeed socially dot com and Chris' associated remedial website about dating.
A greater tragedy than romantic rejection is regret about not trying and risking, particularly when the other person liked you but you pessimistically assumed they didn't.
It is extremely rewarding to connect with your past love-interests. Some people say "let the past go". I disagree, and defend the romantic view, of "friends once, friends forever" - though one should also meet new lovers and friends, thus being generous and open-hearted, open to receiving and giving love, whether rooted in past or present. Sarah from UOP finally tracked me down and we love talking on the phone about our past and our present lives - we can't get enough.
We may even become dear friends now with high school students that we didn't really know back then, including students 3 years ahead or behind us. I feel increasingly this way about Diane Goedecke, whose yearbook photo I saw and admired in 1980: it turns out she was a close friend of Celeste, who both of us are looking for. Diane has had her struggles, and we can all give each other our love, encouragement, and support.
Girls of Lincoln High around 1980 --
I love you, I'm in love with you, and wish I could've been more outgoing and known you better. I wish I didn't feel intimidated, and that I felt able to connect, as I am learning, late, how to.
X X X O O O
Mike Hoffman / Michael S. Hoffman
Christmas 2009, Seattle
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