Phillip Halff:  

is another way to say complaint department. People would call me crying and swearing about thier high data lines having trouble and I would pull up thier circuit and troubleshoot the problem. Depending on where I found it, I would either send out a repairman or call the central office and work with the man at the switchboard. I had learned to take good notes and make folders, so every trouble I got I would document the results until I had quite a collection. I soon became the answer man. In fact I was able to let my humorous side out a little there. My aunt made a pilgrimage to Vegas every year and would pay for my wife and I to join here. Well she was an Elvis fan, so one day I made myself an Elvis suit and wore it on the plane down to Vegas. You will not believe the amount of attention you get dressed as Elvis. Soon as the passengers saw me they waved me to the front of the line and as the passed me in the plane would each ask for an autograph or pose with them for a picture. In fact I wore the suit inside a hotel where we were meeting to go eat and a security guard approached me. I figured here it goes, I be ordered off property of something, but no..he informed me there was a pair of ladies standing over there and they wanted to know if I pose with them for a few pictures. Well I was hooked being Elvis after that. To get back to work, I did wear the suit every once in a while and it was a big hit there too. I have a co-worker I still keep in touch with and she tells me she still has my Elvis photo on her desk. I am now self employed, which means I do nothing but keep track of my stocks and mineral rights.I still miss working at SBC, cause there really was never a boring moment, I could always find someting that needed to be done. Military Navy life. One day or actually it was night, I was drinking with a friend in a gentlemen's bar when my friend informed me he was tired of being a cashier for Krogers. He had been a cashier for 8 years and thought he would never be able to better his life. He told me he wished he had the guts to go join the Navy and work on engines and such. Well having nothing but determination to make my freind's dream come true, when we sobered up the next morning, I promptly drove him to a Navy recuiter office. While he was taking the entrance exams, I sat idly looking abut the room boredly. The Navy recruiter ask if I like to take the exam just to see how well I'd do. Well since I had to wait for my friend anyways, I told him sure. I aced that puppy hands down. The recruiter eagerly told me of all the possibilities I had in the Navy..and informed me I would be pushed to be a nuclear physisist. Hey that sounded pretty important (I learn later that they rarely have kids having to work so close to the reactor). He then asked wether I wanted to be an officer or enlisted man. I asked what the difference was and he proceeded to tell me to imagine a tea party where every one was dress in white uniforms, white gloves, backs straight, and ballroom music in the air...then to imagine a barroom with people drinking, getting sick, chasing naked women, and people hanging from the chandilier. Well being young and wild, I choose enlisted. My parents were so proud of my choice of joining the Navy, I believe my father thought this would finally set me straight (he was right). So I joined the Navy, but my friend failed the exam and is still to this day working in Krogers. I did pay for him to take a few college courses in hopes of helping him pass. Lets say that during a celebration before I left for the navy an incident involving the police occured and although I was not guilty, the court date was after the day I was to be leaving for bootcamp, I paid the fine, which I learn is like signing a paper admitting of guilt. This police record prevented me from being a Nuclear Physist, but hey I could be a sonar tech on a nuclear submarine. When I heard submarine I was hooked. A large image of the submarine in the disney movie 2000 Leagues beneath the Sea swam in my head. I said great with much ethusiasm. When I got in the sub, yes it did have a water window, but it was on the washing machine. Spent 5 years in the Subservice and enjoyed every deployment. Longest deployment lasted 3 months, and on halfway night ( the mid point between the long months underwater)we had a beauty contest. Every department picked on a person to dress up as a woman and be a contestant. I unfortuanly was choosen. I knew I could not win so I shaved my head and had black wax marker lipstick and makeup applied to my face. Added a few choice fake tattoos and wore a tight black shirt with two water filled rubbers as breasts. and showed my hairy legs in a fine black laced pair of panties. Of course I lost, but had fun scaring my sleeping mates outta thier pleasant dreams by bouncing in thier bunk demanding they sign my contestant card. It is sad to say, but some of the contestants look pretty good. I just hope it was just the lack of seeing a real woman for months. I ran a good business under water. Smokers would run out of cigarettes after a few weeks and being a non-smoker, I always had some to sell. It got to where I could sell a pack for $10, and this was 15 years ago too. Injured my knee in the line of duty and had to finally have ACL surgery. Was wearing cowboy boots while playing softballgame and tried to slide home when my heel caught the home plate. It was at an admiral's picnic so I was still on base and on duty per say, so it was legal and the navy paid for it. Funny thing is it is the same leg I later broke while riding that dang razor scooter.