Richard Crist:
CLASS OF 1980
Overlea High SchoolClass of 1980
Baltimore, MD
Saint Anthony of Padua SchoolClass of 1976
Baltimore, MD
Richard's Story
I fight critters.
Wait, these stories are graded using a point system, right? And the winners get stuff? Look, I won't cheat just to get stuff. All of what you are about to read is true.
I fight critters. Not soft, cuddly ones either. Mean ones. I tried fighting robots, but they are cold; mindless. And I had to get jacked up on mescaline and lit on fire just to get in the ring with them, so I was only good for a couple two/three fights a year. Critters are different. They are instinctual fighters. During my last bout I ...Expand for more
had two raccoons and woodchuck start a scuffle on the side to distract the bobcat I was fighting, so I could run to safety. Hey, I didn't say I was good at it. Don't judge.
I tried accounting, but I couldn't get excited about adding up columns of numbers. "Wow.. 456,213!!" Uhh, no. Just not for me.
I've had stitches, and broke some ribs while surfing.
So, that's pretty much it. What do I win?
"When the world is too dark
And I need the light inside of me,
I'll walk into a bar
And drink fifteen pints of beer."
-Shane MacGowan
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