Ross Keefer:  

Life I have never married or produced offspring (to the best of my knowledge). I dropped out of NOVA midway through my second semester there (with a 3.5 GPA) because it interfered with my partying too much. Choices such as these led to amazingly fun and interesting good times, despairingly low times, many different jobs, and a 14 year hiatus from college. I did ultimately get a 4 year degree and currently work as an accountant for a Fortune 60 company who is (among other agricultural product interests)the biggest producer of biofuels in the world and (unfortunately) will be the subject of a George Clooney/Matt Damon movie scheduled to be filmed in 2008. I went bald early, but that was no surprise. I always expected that and never minded it. I did not, however, expect to get so fat. Geez I'm huge, but the same thing happened to Jim Morrison and Elvis. Admittedly I haven't reached their level of fame, but I'm way funnier than either of them and I'm still alive (so I think it evens out). I'm soci...Expand for more