Thomas Sheehan:  

I share my home with 25 other men and several cooking, housekeeping, and administrative staff. It's amazing to share this in this space, because I realize how unusual that is, compared to everyone I know outside of vowed religious orders and congregations. Basically, I feel better, more fulfilled, and more productive than I have ever felt in my life. I would not trade this for anything. I could say the same thing about my unusual work and study history since I left college (Holy Cross in Worcester, MA, where I started this whole thing, and where I live now). There were certain values and a spirituality and appreciation for both feeling and thought that drew me toward applying to become a Jesuit (and eventually a priest), and toward healthcare chaplaincy and clinical pastoral education. That is my work. It was a difficult journey, with many personal and relational obstacles to overcome, but never without the support and guidance others as I found out who I was and became that person. As other classmates of mine have reminded me, my life as child and as a teenager was no picnic. I did have to reckon with all of that over many years as a Jesuit, because the leftover pain interfered with my life and my work. In spite of the difficulties, I have many good memories of singing in college choirs, sightseeing, bicycling, going to concerts and movies, making many good friends, and growing as a person and a professional caregiver in healthcare, and supervising the work of the many gifted, generous people I have trained. Now I have been given the amazing gift of being right where I need to be: where someone like me who is overly sensitive but integrated enough has a huge advantage over others, because in hospitals and nursing facilities, it is frankly impossible for anyone to ever be sensitive enough. Because of that result, I can truly say that life has been very good to me. My work is hard, but over the years I have had many good relationships with supervisors, superiors, and mentors at work and in my Jesuit community. Yes, there have been plenty of bad relationships, too, but at this point I can honestly say that I have had more good relationships than bad. I do miss some friendships I have had to end, and others where there were cutoffs that have never been healed. Just this past week, while recovering from hernia surgery, a social worker asked me about some difficulties that I had in the past, and told me about her daughter, who is facing the same thing. She told me that the most difficult thing for her daughter is the lack of acceptance and the put-downs she receives from her peers. We agreed that fear is behind this treatment. But, I told her that if it were only fear, then more information would stop it, but it doesn't (I know this from my experience of the past few years, as I have come to understand my thinking and feeling, and many around me have treated me poorly---including my closest friends.)That means that something else is present---namely, judgment, self-righteousness, and lack of empathy. So basically, through my physical (like asthma and a big heart attack in 2004) and other difficulties, I've been given the chance to connect with people whom I would otherwise never connect with, and who I would also probably fear and judge. I meet lots of patients in my hospital, but I also meet staff, and little by little others who are associated with my community. There is a deep bond that forms between us very quicky, as we both come to realize that there really is at least one more other person in the world who understands us. What I have discovered more and more over the years is that in small moments of conversation with total strangers, powerful things can happen to one or both of us as a result of that chance encounter. I start every day clearing the way for whatever might happen through meditation and prayer. Then I gradually enter into that day, putting together the referral messages and strategizing with my fellow chaplains. Then I have these amazing and sad encounters with patients and staff, chart and log everything, make my own referrals and staff consultations, head home tired but thankful for the day, meet with my community for dinner, take care of me, reflect on what I learned, give back to a greater being all the pain and that loss I cannot hold onto, connect with some friends, and sleep. I find that a greater and greater part of my week is now involved with educating my fellow employees and medical residents about key relational issues, and perhaps an increasing understanding of my lengthy clinical education and the nature and purpose of pastoral care. I am also bringing Holy Cross pre-meds Holy Communion to Catholics. I'm hoping that through their volunteering they can begin to understand the meaning of their career choice to them and to the people they will serve. As you ...Expand for more