Your 20-year high school reunion can be a game-changer. Your former class members are more mature now (hopefully), and they care more about who you’ve become as a person than how much money you make. At long last, you’re at the point when everyone just wants to get together, let loose and have fun without any judgment or competition, though you can still race in the hallway to see who’s fastest.
But how exactly do you renew a friendship with a person you haven’t seen in 20 years? No problem. Here are some easy tips for rekindling relationships with old friends:
- Find common ground. Dig a little deeper than the obvious surface stuff from your life. Steer clear from small talk (not that there’s anything wrong with small talk), and instead delve into topics your class members can relate to. Was it hard to find your career path? How do you balance work and a family? (If you know how, tell us.) What makes you happy at the moment? Of course, you don’t have to talk about EVERYTHING. For example, you don’t have to get into every little detail of juggling career and kids. But speaking to human topics, rather than sticking with chitchat, will help you find a connection.
- Talk outside the box. You are an accountant and a father (or not), but what else? Do you build your own furniture on Saturday mornings? Is it comfortable? Do you play rec soccer? Tell people about something you’re really excited about, and find out what makes them tick, too. Most people are bored when talking about the minutia of the daily grind, but you’ll feel yourself and your class member light up when you discuss what you most love to do. You’ll also find that you truly enjoy seeing other people completely engaged when they speak about their passions.
- Be a good listener. The secret to a wonderful reunion experience is simple: don’t put too much focus on yourself. With the right conversation, you’ll find that your class members are fascinating people worth your attention.
- Don’t dwell in the past. It’s been quite a while since high school. A lot has happened since you were embarrassed that one time in class. Just be thankful nobody was there to record it (something that could easily happen today). If there are bad memories, don’t sweat them too much. Learn to forgive. And remember: reunions are an opportunity to have fun, not to rehash unpleasantness from 20 years ago. The more positive your perspective, the better your night will be — guaranteed.
- Just be you. Remember, these people spent a lot of time with you over the course of four years. They know who you are, and they’re glad to see you. Really. Just be yourself. Everyone respects honesty. People evolve, and it’s always interesting to see how class members both change and stay the same.
It’s almost always a little scary to pick up old relationships where you left off, but with these pointers in mind, it’ll be easy to rekindle friendships with the people who meant a lot to you during your formative years. Be sure to walk in with an open mind, be willing to connect with anyone, go with the flow of conversation, and have fun. You never know what may come of it.
You may have seen your class members online, but nothing beats face-to-face interaction for developing memories and friendships. Using the tips above will help you get comfortable chatting with your peers, so you won’t have to spend so much time breaking the ice at the next reunion. That will leave more time to eat.